So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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