xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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