I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
