There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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