and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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