Pappa wants mamma naked
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
