I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
