Barsexuality is the new black.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
