woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
