Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
