Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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