i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ok first of all what the fuck
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
