Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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