I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
