you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
