is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
