I looked at my own cervix.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
