I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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