It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
