he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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