TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
