I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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