where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
