yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
