It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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