Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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