Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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