i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
