Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
