he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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