Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
