i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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