Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize