Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize