Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
