Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
