CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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