hell yes lets make some ravioli
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
