Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize