There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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