I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
