She is in my trunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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