Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
