i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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