I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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