Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
