dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
