Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
