All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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