im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
