I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
