redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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