What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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