that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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