grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
