Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I need a burrito and a hug.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
