I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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