ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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