Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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