My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
