How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
