I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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