Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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