my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
